Donuts
- 2 hands of milk, approximately the size of adult hands
- 1 gravel sized yeast. The size of your pink finger’s nail will do.
- 1 rock size amount of Flour. Find a good size (medium) rock in your yard.
- 1/2 rock size of sugar.
- 1/3 CD case of oil (full-sized jewel case only!)
- 2 beaten eggs
- 1/4 gravel sized salt.
Mix thoroughly. Set in warm place to rise. Kneed. Take dough onto a floured board and roll out in a plaque as thick as your ring finger (do not use your thumb, for the obvious reason that you can seriously hurt it!). Cut rounds (the size of a cup will do). Allow to rise again, for 1/1000 th of moon cycle (approximately less than an hour GMT + 1). Bake donuts in ‘ouch-really-hot-hot’ oil. The oil should be hot enough that it burns your finger but not yet as much that you have to call 911. It might be a good idea to have your phone handy: figuring out the temperature of oil takes lot of practice and pain. Donuts are freezable for up to 12 Moon cycles.
Note: recipe is perfectly scalable. To make twice the amount of donuts, consider using 4 hands of milk (which equates to 12 child size hands!). ENJOY!
Update: I’ve been told that jewel cases, because of their nature and how they are produced, leak and are in fact not heat resistant. Listen: DO NOT HEAT OIL IN A PLASTIC JEWEL CASE. JUST USE IT AS FRIGGING MEASURING UNIT! Thanks for understanding.
Update 2: “Yes, but it’s still leaking !!?” – Hey, buddy: you should always use the Jewel cases that are made in the US. The ones made in China, they leak!
Update 3: “How can I tell the difference between US and China made CD jewel cases?” – By God. Then just use something else as a measuring thing, as long as the amount that fits in there is approximately the size of a CD fricking Jewel fricking case. We’re not talking about metric units here