Dear 
neighbourhood astrologer:
Recently, the International Astronomer Union (website) decided to downgrade Pluto’s planetary status to ‘dwarf planet’ after a lengthy voting process (results). You may have heard about this via the regular channels, since it has caused quite the stir around the world. Personally, I felt quite distressed about the future of the accuracy of my personal horoscopes. After all, since Pluto was outed, I have had many misfortunes hurled my way because of less exact horoscopes. However, I read that only western astrology was affected by all of this. Indian astrologers namely claim the following (and I quote from the article)
“Western astrology uses Pluto as a planet while Pluto was always out of Indian astrology and we do not use it in our calculations. This is the practice from the days of Aryabhatta and Varahamihira”
I request that you fix what is broken and that you use the Indian system from now on. This will hopefully correct the mispleasures I have suffered from reading your horoscopes.
Thanks for considering and may the planets (minus Pluto) bear the weight of your numerical zodiacal calculations.
Arthur